When I think back to when I first started considering homeschooling, I can remember how overwhelming the whole idea of it seemed. First, there are slightly more than 1 billion curriculum to choose from. I remember spending hours each night scouring through reviews of books and programs, scared to choose the wrong one. I sought out advice from several homeschooling moms. I just wanted someone to tell me, “this is how it is…this is what you do.” The truth is, it’s different for everybody. There is no one right way. Then, it was the whole social thing. Would homeschooling make my kids socially inept? That one thought completely consumed me. Looking back now, that seems silly, because they still see their friends, just not during school hours. Homeschooling is just one of those things, you can’t know how you’ll feel about it, until you’re doing it.
I love homeschooling, but there are days when I seriously question my sanity in wanting to do this. Also, I am not the most patient person…so there’s that. Sometimes, I get so frustrated…so “bang my head against the wall” frustrated. Then, there are times when I completely lose sight of why I started homeschooling. Today was one of those days. Jacks was struggling and I was losing patience. I should have shown compassion and understanding, instead of being annoyed that he wasn’t “getting it.” These are not my proudest moments by far. The look of disappointment in himself said it all. Gutted. I suck! I knew we both just needed a break.
We ditched the books and went on a bike ride. We wandered and explored until we were ready to come home and start again. Despite all the craziness that my life has become since starting this journey, I am so fulfilled and enriched beyond words. Even on my worst days, I big puffy heart homeschooling!